Her and Him
“Love, like war, is a
toss-up. The defeated can recover, while some you might think invincible
collapse; So if you’ve got love written off as an easy option you’d better
think twice. Love calls for guts and initiative.” (Ovid, pg. 295) This
statement has never been truer than in the story of her and him.
He was the cousin of her boyfriend; she was the girlfriend
of his cousin. They met in passing one day but nothing out of the ordinary
happened. She thought he was cute but didn’t have the personality to back it up
while he thought she was cute but didn’t think about it again. The months
passed by, the cousin and she were no longer a couple. One day, she was eating
dinner and was shocked to see him in her kitchen. It was awkward and she felt
that she needed to resent him. Every time they met, there was hostility from
her, and jokes from him.
They saw each other more and more and she started to
think of him as a friend. One night in a friendly gathering, she saw him in a
new light. She asked about his tattoos and really noticed his nature as a
person. This is the budding of her love for him. This is when she truly noticed
him.
She thought about him often now and was excited to learn
that he would be joining a camping excursion with her family and a few other
people. She loved the thought of this just to be close to him even though she
felt like she couldn’t act on it because he was her brother’s friend after all
and a few years older. This however didn’t stop her from admiring him all
weekend. Later on, she would find out that he was admiring her too.
The weeks passed by, she was getting ready to go back to
school, he was working. They decided to have an end of the summer party at her
house. With the nectar of socializing in them both, they had courage to say how
they felt. She made it obvious she was spending the night with him and he
laughed. They stayed up well past everybody else, talking about the things they
both had in common. It was late. He asked her to go home with him. She gladly
accepted, not scared or worried about what would happen, just ready to go. They
stayed up even later, talking about nonsense things, getting to know each other
better. They drifted off in each other’s arms.
In the morning, they woke up slow, like in Banana
Pancakes. Nothing happened the night before but now she had a question in her
head, where was this going? He didn’t even give her time to wonder; he held her
hand the whole way home.
They separated themselves from each other that day, she
going to a concert, him running errands, only to be joined that night once
more. This time, he was the only one with liquid courage in him and she took
care of him. She let him sleep in her bed with her and she let him whisper his
sweet nothings to her until he fell asleep, as close to her as he could get.
After that, it was obvious they liked each other. They
spent the next two weeks having fun and hanging out. He taught her new things
and she taught him new things. It was very nice. His friends and her brother
tried so hard to warn her about what was bound to happen in the end but she
didn’t listen. She figured you can tell me but you can’t control him, he will
do what he wants.
This was true. They kept talking and seeing each other.
As time went on, things became different. He took longer to text her back, they
didn’t hang out as much, and he stopped whispering his sweet nothings. At first
she didn’t mind, they could distance themselves. But after a while, she got
worried. She didn’t know how he felt anymore and she was wondering if he was
being a cheat. She didn’t let this go on for long, maybe a month. Finally, when
she could no longer stand to see him, she told him it wasn’t working out. It
broke her heart to do it but she respected herself more than she thought he was
good for her and she ended it.
He wanted to talk to her about it so they met up. At that
moment, she hated how his arms always calmed her down and made her feel better.
He asked if they could still talk and he told her he wanted to be friends. He
even planted the hope in her head that, “I’m not going anywhere, maybe we can
try again someday.” She wanted to stay friends, there were no hard feelings on
her part, so she kept up with it and they continued to text and sometimes hang
out. She couldn’t deny how happy she was when she was with him.
One day it got too much for her and she decided to tell
him how she felt about him after a couple of months of being separated. He
pretty much ignored her. This is when she knew she NEEDED to get over him and
move on.
Since then it’s been a constant battle. On the random
occasion when she sees him, her heart rate increases, her body temperature sky
rockets, her hands begin to shake and sometimes she bursts into tears when she
makes it safely to her room. She can’t help it that she compares him to
sunshine. She hates that he feels so right to her. She loves everything about
him. She wishes she knew if these were real feelings or if she is infatuated
with him. She thinks she might be crazy and asks herself, “Is this what love
is?” She thinks about him at least once a day, every day since she let him go.
She has to remind herself that life isn’t a movie, they aren’t going to meet up
one day and everything will fall into place, he’s not going to wake up and ask
for her back. Would she even take him back?
The ones thought to be invincible, by others or by
themselves, are not. One day they will meet there match and they will fall.
What will pull her, the defeated through, is knowing that she can, and will
recover one day. With or without her love, she is determined not to let him
push her down and keep her there.
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